Creatures of literature
by MillaMayhem
Summary: A story about finding yourself and not forgetting who you are
1. Prologue: The first entry

**A/N—Sorry I'm starting a new story against better advice but I couldn't and still can't help it!**

**This is the first story I ever had the idea for and I had a burst of inspiration so I have to do it now.**

**You see I have writing bursts where I have a thing for one story and not another and today it's this story.**

**So enjoy I guess…**

***DISCLAIMER***

**I do not own law and order: SVU!**

**Prologue.**

**Creatures of literature.**

Through out the course of my life and my job I have met the most extraordinary people but I have also met people that I think the world would be better off without.

This story isn't about those people though.

This is a story about the loves of my life.

They were and are people that I love, care for and would stick with through anything.

In every book that I've ever read there was a good guy and a bad guy, a hero and a villain.

There were the weak and the strong, the welcoming and the hostile.

It took a long time, the love of my life and one extraordinary little girl to be able to say that a part of us is all of these things at some point.

Some are just more upfront about it.

People aren't what they seem… They are much more than that.

I say these things because this little girl was the hero with an open heart, strong mind and good intentions but she was also the villain seeking to destroy everything that could tell her who she really was.

Every day she fought herself with body and mind to fend of the monster that she thought lay inside.

I tried to help her as much as I could but sometimes I grew weak and weary.

I regret those moments.

Those were the moments that I too shared her pain of believing that I was unlovable.

In these times the love of my life would take me into her arms and hold my hand as I cried it out.

She was so much stronger than I…

It killed me to see such a beautiful little girl become so self destructive and it broke my heart to watch my fiancé' let her mind, body and health deteriorate so that she could hold her hand and lift her up when she was too weak to do it alone.

At least I can say that even as the final months grew near the love of my life never lost her spirit.

She never lost her love, passion and determination for what she believed was right.

That's why I fell in love with her in the first place.

Even as the last bits of colour faded from her cheeks, the last breaths left her lungs and the last sweet kiss was exchanged she put others before herself.

So I'm telling this for her… for both of them.

So that everyone could see why I loved the woman that I did and why one small girl can change your life.

Love always,

Olivia.


	2. Month one: The last month of Winter

**A/N- Just so you know this starts from the last month of winter.**

**(Is also done using correct American season order)**

_**Month one: Winter**_

I cursed myself for not bringing a jacket to dinner.

Not only did I not listen to Alex I also said "That's o.k. I'll be fine." Right after she said that it was snowing outside.

Now I was stuck out in the snow with no jacket and a very tipsy Alexandra Cabot.

I shimmied her into the apartment building and up the stairs to the apartment we know shared together.

The key twisted in the lock and then made a nice and sturdy "click" sound.

Alex stumbled through the door shedding her clothes and bags as she went until all that was left of her was her underwear and my NYPD shirt that she had somehow managed to pick up along the way.

As she climbed into the bed I tucked her in and kissed her cheek.

As I went to leave she called my name.

"What do you want darling? A drink? Some food? More blankets?"

She incoherently mumbled something.

"What was that Lex'?"

"I want a baby…." She mumbled before she began to cry.

I ran over and gathered her into my arms.

I rubbed circles into her back and brushed the hair from her face.

"I know Lex' I'm so sorry…"

In a sleep deprived, tipsy or upset state Alex would often refer to wanting a baby.

The worst thing was that I didn't know what to tell her.

I couldn't give her the child that she so desired and unless we quit our jobs adoption was not and option and even then we'd need money coming in somewhere.

We'd thought about IVF but Alex was never exactly comfortable with the idea.

It kind of scared her.

Soon enough she slept.

As I lowered our bodies back down to the bed I held her close and soothed her sleeping form.

Her breaths were heavy and made her chest rise under my arm.

With in no time I was asleep beside her.

…

At work the following day I was distant and quiet.

I was thinking.

My eyes were squinted and tongue was poked out.

I was reading.

I needed a solution to fix this and so far adoption was the only thing I could think of.

"Liv' what are you doing?" Elliot asked confused.

"Uhmmm… Researching."

"What?"

"Uhmmm… Stuff."

"What stuff?"

I wasn't overly keen to talk about it at least not now…

"Personal stuff."

He went quiet and left me alone for the better half of 10 minutes before asking:

"Are you o.k.?"

For once I looked at him, his blue eyes clouded with worry.

There wasn't much I didn't tell him.

He was my best friend, my brother and my partner.

I tousled my hair and sighed deeply.

"Alex wants a child…"

His eyes went large with curiosity.

"Well what are you gonna' do co' you're not exactly…you know…"

I threw my pen at him.

"I'm aware of that genius."

"Hey!"

I poked my tongue out at him.

"I…I don't know what to tell her…I mean she gets so upset about it."

"Well what are your options?"

"Really we only have adoption."

"Then go adopt a child." He laughed.

"It's not that simple Elliot. One or both of us would have to quit our job; we'd need a house, a steady supply of income…"

I let out another sigh.

"It's all too complicated El'."

He came over and put a hand on my shoulder.

"I'm always here to help Liv' so anything you need I can get you…"

I smiled slyly.

"A coffee would be great."

He then walked off down to his car mumbling something to himself.

…

I walked into the apartment.

Snow fell from my body onto the carpet near the door.

I was freezing.

I loved the beauty of New York winters but I hated the cold.

That was where Alex and I were opposites.

She loved the snow and the cold because it meant that we could spend the nights keeping each other warm.

I loved the heat of Summer.

I loved the swimming, the ice cream, the bikini's…

Mmmm… Alex.

I chuckled to myself.

I pulled of my runners and slid the coat from my shoulders.

"Alex?"

"I'm in here."

I walked into the kitchen to see her making hot chocolates.

"How do you feel?"

She glared at me sternly.

"If you must know I have a headache."

I smiled at her before gathering her in my arms.

She was warm.

"Lex'." I mumbled into her hair.

No reply just a tighter squeeze.

I nuzzled my head into her neck.

Coconut.

She was sweet.

In every sense of the word.

Strawberry scented hair and coconut scented skin.

She smelt the way only Alex could smell.

I lifted my head from her neck.

"I think we need to talk…"

She smiled and handed me a hot chocolate.

We went to sit at the table.

It was then that I noticed she'd cleaned.

When I left this morning the table was a mess of coats and papers now all that resided on it was a vase full of daffodils.

I sighed.

"Lex'…I…I think we should look into adoption."

I thought she'd be shocked but no she kept her court face on.

She was thinking.

After a few minutes I took her hand in my own.

"I know you want a child and I do too."

"Really? Yo…you think we're ready?"

I smiled and squeezed her hand tighter.

"As ready as we'll ever be."

…

"Olivia? Is everything alright?"

"Uh yeah captain. Everything's fine I…I was just hoping I could talk to you."

"Of course. Come in."

I shut the door to Cragen's office and took a seat opposite from him.

"I was wondering if I could have a week off."

"Sure. Are you sure you're o.k.?"

"Alex and I have an appointment with the Adoption agency."

He looked shocked.

His eyes wide.

"This is a big step Olivia."

"I…I know but I think we're ready."

I was just about to leave but then Cragen turned into his fatherly self.

"Olivia i…if you need anything call me."

"Will do cap'."

And with that I shut the door.

…

The day came and Alex refused to let go of my hand.

She was like a frightened child.

Yet another time we were complete opposites.

In the courtroom she was a clean slate, never letting her feelings show.

I was like that outside the courtroom.

Only in her arms could I ever truly reveal myself.

As we entered the white wall office I could feel Alex trembling.

I quickly pulled her aside and kissed her softly as a way to reassure her that we could jump any hurdle they'd throw at us.

As we sat at the pine desk across from a man in a suit that we'd never met I felt just as scared as she did.

"So you're looking for an adoption checklist?"

"Uh yeah." I replied timidly.

"O.k. well you guys are pretty qualified to take care of a child. There's just a few things that need sorting out. Now I'd like you to take this list home and work on it and we'll call you in about six months to see how you're going and within that six months to a year if you qualify we should be able to start setting you up with some kids."

"That…that'd be great. Thankyou so much."

As we left the office that day we were one step closer to having our own family.


	3. Month two: Welcome to Spring

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters associated with Law and order: SVU but all the others are mine :D**

**Summary: So I know it's been a while for all my stories but I've decided to update this one first because I like this one.**

**I've just been working on a few pet projects of mine that I'll post when the time is right.**

**Basically this chapter is only a month later so yeah you should pick it up fine if you have any problems message me.**

…

**Month two:**

**Welcoming Spring.**

…

"NO! No no no and more NO!" Alex screamed into the phone.

I sighed and continued to stir my coffee.

"Mum for the last time it's not possible. I…I mean what about Olivia!"

I jumped at the mention of my name.

Alex looked over at me sympathetically.

'Put her on loudspeaker' I mouthed.

Alex sighed before doing so.

"Mum you're on loudspeaker."

"Hi Carol." I chirped cheerily.

"_Hello Olivia how's everything at work?"_

"Good I guess but it'd be better if I knew what you and Alex were fighting about." I said as I glanced over at an irritated Alex.

"Mother and I are discussing the farmhouse." Alex sighed blandly.

Slightly confused I tilted my head.

"Mum wants us to have it." Alex grumbled.

"_Alex honey you're my only child and besides your father and I haven't used that house since you were a child. I just thought with the whole adoption situation and you and Olivia being where you are you might want to consider taking it."_

The farmhouse.

I'd been there once since Alex and I had been together.

It was probably the biggest Cabot house of all.

5 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms plus on suites.

Not to mention the giant barn, lake and surrounding forest.

"Look mum we'll…we'll talk about it some other time."

"_Okay goodbye sweetie, bye Olivia."_

Alex hung up the phone and stomped out of the room.

"Alex! Alex honey don't you think we should at least talk about this."

I followed her into the bedroom and sat beside her as she leaned into my chest.

"It's just that it's so far away Liv' I…I mean you'd have to quit your job and we'd have to leave everything behind."

I sighed.

Everything she said was true.

I took a deep breath.

"I'd drive from the house everyday. We'd make ends meet. I…I mean think about it Lex' one of the things on the checklist was a bigger house and that house is perfect. You grew up there and I think it would be perfect."

She looked up at me with her big cerulean eyes.

"I…I guess you have a point." Alex laughed.

I gave her a big smile and a passionate kiss.

"I'll give her our answer tomorrow morning." Alex grinned.

"And I'll tell the captain."


	4. The second entry: Working it out

**Disclaimer: I own the characters that aren't from SVU that's something isn't it?**

**No you're right that's not enough…**

**Summary: I'm skipping into the future for the day before they meet their child.**

…

**The second entry:**

**Working it out.**

…

Autumn came slowly as Alex and I waited in anticipation.

Tomorrow we would meet her.

_Her_ we didn't even know her name.

We didn't know anything about her really.

Alex had been jittery for some time now.

She insisted on everything being spotless and perfect.

The truth was I was kind of scared about meeting her.

I mean what if it didn't work out?

Would we get another shot?

Would Alex be o.k.?

We'd moved into the farmhouse about a month ago.

I told Cragen what I was going to do and he understood.

I'd quit but he told me that there would always be a place for me if I wished to come back.

I did miss my job.

Alex missed hers too but we had to make sacrifices for this to happen and we weren't about to turn back now.

She wanted this… I wanted this.

It will all work out in the end.

No regrets,

Olivia.


	5. Month eight: Bridget

**Disclaimer: One day we'll own them but not today…**

**Summary: Yes yes I know you all want Twisted but I'm not in the mood for Twisted right now.**

**I'M IN THE MOOD FOR THIS!**

**O.k. so basically this is the chapter of their first meeting and you'll find out a little bit about her.**

…

**Month eight:**

**Bridget.**

…

When Alex woke up that morning I watched silently as she showered, dressed and tied up her hair.

Today was a big day for her… for us.

I could tell she was nervous by the way she cut her toast.

Usually it was perfectly straight but today it was all jagged and wobbly.

When I tried to calm her by placing my hand on hers she hugged me.

"I love you Liv'." She whispered into my hair.

"I love you too." I replied as I kissed her cheek softly.

As she slowly released me I heard a car pull up.

Alex jumped before patting down her jeans, straightening her baby pink jumper and tightening the pink ribbon in her hair.

We pushed our chairs in before heading outside to meet _her_.

…

"Hello Mr James." I said as I shook the mans hand.

He politely nodded at me before shaking Alex's hand.

"I'm Olivia Benson and this is my partner Alex Cabot."

Alex reached for my hand so I gave it a big squeeze of reassurance.

"So would you like to meet Bridget?" Asked the man cheerily.

_Bridget._

The name scanned over in my head a few times before I realised he was waiting for an answer.

"Ah yes that would be lovely." I smiled.

…

I stood on the porch with Alex as the man opened the car door.

At first we couldn't see anyone but then a pair of tiny pale feet in shiny black shoes appeared on the ground.

Then a little girl was making her way up the porch.

From then it seemed like the world was spinning.

Would she be right for us?

Would she like us?

I gulped before realising that Bridget was standing on our porch and Alex had bent down to her height.

"Hi Bridget I'm Alex."

Alex's face was glowing with happiness and her smile was as wider than I'd ever seen it.

"And I'm Olivia." I smiled while leaning down next to Alex.

Bridget smiled and twirled the bottom of her red dress as she swayed nervously.

"Hiya." Bridget giggled.

"I like puppy's."

I looked over at Alex and we both started to laugh.

"I like puppy's too Bridget." Alex laughed.

Bridget smiled before grabbing Alex's hand.

"Can you come play with me?" Bridget said as she jumped up and down while trying to tug Alex down the steps.

"Of course." Alex said as she followed the eager Bridget to the swings.

…

"So what's her story?" I asked as Mr James as we sipped our coffee while watching Alex play with Bridget.

"Her name is Bridget Louisa Taylor, She's 8 years old, Allergic to Morphine, Codeine and Pethidine and was born on June 23rd."

I raised my eyebrows at him.

"That's helpful but not what I asked."

Mr James sighed before continuing.

"Says she lived in California but we couldn't find her registered in any schools or care facilities."

"Wait how'd she end up in care?"

"She was left alone in the hospital by the people she claims were her brother and father."

"What about the mother?"

"Unknown. She say's she can't remember her mother."

"Why was she in hospital?"

"She was bitten by a dog."

"So you can't find her family?"

"Correct."

"How long ago?"

"It's been 4 months and she's been through 6 temporary foster family's."

"Why?"

"Night terrors."

I looked out the window to see a muddy Alex chasing a small muddy faced Bridget around the yard and smiled.

"What kind of night terrors? Bed wetting?"

"No not bed wetting just some screaming, crying and nightmares."

"Just?" I asked sarcastically.

"She screams out the name Luka in her sleep."

"And?"

"Says it's her brother but we searched the name Luka Taylor and nothing came up."

I sighed before taking another sip of my coffee.

…

"Goodbye Bridget." Alex and I smiled as we waved off her and Mr James.

"What did you think?" I asked Alex.

Alex smiled and hugged me.

"She's beautiful."

…

As Alex and I lay in bed that night I told her everything Mr James had told me and she was fine with it.

"Her favourite colour is Red, She has a bear named Eden, She likes Jelly with grapes in it. She doesn't like broccoli and she's afraid of spiders." Alex rattled on as I listened intently.

Soon enough I fell asleep and surely she wasn't long after.


	6. Month nine: The second month of Autumn

**Month 9:**

**The second month of Autumn.**

**...**

Alex and I spent all our time on our toes. Today Bridget was coming to live with us. Mr. James said he'd bring her here at 12:00pm sharp. It was 11:30. We'd set up a room for her just down the hall from our own. She had red paint on her walls and light coloured floorboards. Her walls were covered in shelves with tiny knick-knacks and books we thought she might like. Her bed had a flower spread on it compromised of red, purple and white. All in all it looked brilliant. It was late October and so the weather was getting chilly but Alex and I didn't mind. All our energy had been pent up into Bridget's arrival. At this point nothing mattered more.

Mr. James pulled up in our front yard in a black Mercedes. I could hear Alex take in a sharp breath. I gave her my hand as we walked out onto the porch. Mr. James held the door open for Bridget and she stepped out clumsily with a black backpack on her shoulder. She looked up at us with her hazel eyes that had blonde hair flying around them. She looked nervous but promptly smiled upon seeing Alex who I noticed had a large grin on her face.

"Hello Bridget." Alex smiled as Bridget approached the steps.

"Hi Alex." Bridget replied gleefully as she jumped up the last step and into Alex's arms.

"Hey kiddo." I smiled at Bridget as she released Alex and smiled at me.

Bridget was missing a baby tooth on her left and so looked much more childish than she was, it was cute. Then it occurred to me that I'd have to play tooth fairy. I don't know how to do that!

"Thank you Mr. James. I think we can take it from here." I smiled before he got in his car and waved him off.

"Would you like to see your new room?" I asked Bridget whom was still holding onto Alex's other hand.

"Please." She said with a smile.

"Follow me." I said waving a hand, beckoning her inside.

Bridget followed Alex and I inside with a curious look full of wonder. When we reached her room I opened the door that had her name on it in wooden letters and let her through. Bridget looked around and then back to us.

"I love it." She smiled.

"Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!" She squealed as she jumped up and down before running to hug each of us in turn.

"I've never had a room like this before. Not since I was with Luka." She continued absentmindedly as she opened up her bag.

I shared a look with Alex who was just as confused as I was. Bridget pulled a fluffy, cream coloured bear from her bag and placed it on the bed.

"This is Eden." She said matter-of-factly.

"Hello Eden." Alex said as she shook the bears hand with a smile.

I laughed and Alex winked at me. Everything was going to be okay.


End file.
